My Daughter and Her SPD Diagnosis

I’m sure not many people reading this have even the slightest idea what SPD is. SPD stands for Sensory Processing Disorder it is also called Sensory Integration Disorder. Basically all this means is that my child’s body manages her senses differently than everybody else. Somethings can be hypersensitive or have low sensitivity. My daughters feet and mouth have low sensitivity, this is why she has an 11 month speech delay. Of course if you cant feel your tongue and teeth as much as you should you wont be able to talk as well. On the other hand her hearing and sense of temperature are very sensitive. I honestly haven’t been able to vacuum my house in months.

Now this is something that we’ve know about for quite some time now but have never shared with family or friends. We have started to share more and more as we ourselves get comfortable with the idea. It was a hard pill swallow, a really big, hard, pill to swallow. I’ll be honest, I cried for a week strait. I had no idea what this meant for my lady bug. Is she going to be labeled special ed? Is she going to have to live a special life? If this going to effect her learning? So many questions that I kinda read every article I could possibly find on the subject. It was even so bad that I was depressed and even in denial for a while. No mother ever EVER wants to think there’s something wrong with their child.

It didn’t help that upon telling my dad she retorted with “Now your just looking for stuff to be wrong with her”. Really? Really dad? Yes I would love more therapists poking their nose in my business judging my parenting or lack of. Yes dad, sign me up. Oh and the joys of having to clean the ENTIRE house every Wednesday for fear they might have to go to the bathroom, because lets face it, my house is “toddler clean” not “guest clean”. So that took a while to get over, but I still had this fear that people wouldn’t believe me or would treat her as if she was special.

I am certainly not trying to act as if my daughter is in a wheel chair and cant talk, not at all. Shes a perfectly happy 2 year old who, despite having a hard time with loud noises is the loudest person in the house. Explain that one to me please. She just needs a little extra care. This means that anywhere we go we have to get there before everybody else. Sounds easy? Of course its not! I have to get to the library 30 minutes early or leave for the park at 8. If we show up to a gathering and there’s already loud noises or kids there I already know we wont last long. This is incredible difficult when she wants to play and have a good time but I have to be the bad guy and make us leave because I know she can not handle getting into the bouncy castle. When we try to have “family date day” we have to plan it on a weekday because we know Chuck E. Cheese wont have a lot of kids there, almost impossible when hubby works all week. I cant vacuum, I cant use the blender or turn the dish washer on if shes awake. The TV and radio in the car have to stay super low. This is challenging when having guests over who are use to functioning at a normal sound level.

As if the loud noises wasn’t enough fun we have the lovely task of trying to keep this kids shoes on without having a melt down. For 3 months all we could get her to wear was Crocs and rain boots. Doesn’t sound like a problem huh? It was so embarrassing taking her to church in her best dress and rain boots. Not only do I think Crocs are the ugliest shoe known to man but they are terrible for her developing feet, and the smell. WHOLLY BEJEEZUS does this kid have some stinky feet.  I guess what do you expect never wearing socks. But low and behold we have managed to find a pair of shoes that are great for her feet, anti microbial/anti fungal, and go with all of her outfits. I will post the link below.

http://www.zappos.com/tsukihoshi-kids-laguna-toddler-little-kid

Those are just 2 of the daily struggles we go through. I am really tired of feeling like I have to keep my struggles with her a secret. I feel like everybody should know and I should have more support from family and friends. I should be able to talk to my family about how hard it is to keep the floors clean or how much of a struggle it is to keep up with all of these therapy appointments, or that some days I just don’t have the time or energy to stand there and make sure her food is the perfect temperature. Ill be honest, there are days where i’m just like “I HAVE to vacuum, your guna have to get over it”. Its hard. Its really really hard to be the mommy and wife I want to be. I think ultimately the hardest part is dealing with peoples judgement. I have friends who give me dirty looks for letting her throw balls in the house, that’s part of her seeking the sensory stuff, or the moms judging me for not disciplining her for having a melt down in the middle of the library, shes having a melt down because YOUR kid is screaming and touching her, or to the annoying old lady in HEB that says “Oh she doesn’t have a speech delay she talks just fine” Um yes she does its only been 6 months of speech therapy but thank you for telling me she doesn’t have one.

On a side note: The next person to tell me she doesn’t have a speech delay or there’s nothing wrong with her..I do not know you. I am going to walk away before I go to jail for throat punching you.

It hard being the parent of a child with special needs. I thank God everyday that Autaum only has SPD. To all the mommy’s that have a child with special needs I applaud you. I understand how stressed out you are, I understand how tired you are, and more importantly I understand how much it hurts your heart to know there is no way to “fix” or to help your child. Just remind yourself there is nothing wrong with your child, they are perfectly made in God’s image just they way they are and as our SPD slogan goes…They’er “Just a little more sensational”. Don’t ever doubt yourself. You are being the best mommy to your little that you know how, and that is all it takes.

To My Autaum Rene’, Your the best!